Lapte si miere

Iata ca aroganta de tip “ghici ghicitoarea mea” nu poate sa nu fie de catre societate. In Decembrie, Vladmir Putin, intr’o interventie cu rusii de 4 ore jumatate,  matura pe jos cu protestatarii si le lua in ras simbolul de la piept, pe care il compara cu un prezervativ.

Ca prin minune, presa din Romania s’a mai desteptat in legatura cu ce se pune la cale la nivel mondial. Cel mai recent act – ACTA (Acord comercial anti contrafacere), acordul negociat in secret inca de pe vremea lui Bush. E deghizat intr-un tratat care combate pirateria, dar e actul care pune bazele cenzurii si controlului sever pe internet.

Vreme insa habar n’are cine, ce, cum. E de departe cel mai prost ministru pe care l-am vazut vreodata.

“În rest, este vorba de tot felul de produse care pot fi obiectul contrabandei: (poate contrafacere)  blugi, cafea, alcool, parfum, medicamente.”

“Însă eu personal am studiat actul, iar respectivul punct spune că România, dacă vrea, poate să ofere date privind ID-ul (poate IP) de unde s-a făcut o anume tranzacţie pe internet”

“”Eu nu cred că a semnat în secret acest tratat, a fost în dezbatere, dar la Comisia Europeană (când?), bineînţeles, dar suntem într-o primă fază, urmează dezbaterea de către Parlamentul European şi apoi ratificarea de către parlamentele naţionale.”

“ACTA este un acord internațional care vine și sincronizează de fapt țările semnatare, și ați văzut că suntem într-o companie destul de selectă, SUA, țările europene, Japonia Coreea de Nord, este o sincronizare între aceste țări împotriva furtului (tot n-a inteles) de pe internet””

When Zuckerberg had high fever and the blue rash of socializing sparked a neuron, his roommate chose to support the president hopeful Perry. So the dream of becoming rich overnight, and while you’re still young and you can drive drop head coupes without looking silly perished. Even though I’d walk through the valley of the shadow the death, I’d still see the gold flickering as a charming flame engulfing the analog non-existence of life. That was a 400 million dollar mistake. The “take away” from this is: think more and you might have a chance of hitting the jackpot. I don’t think Anita realized what opportunity she was missing…

I felt that night was the lucky night and the stars were aligning favorably, so that Anita would learn what money can buy.

There were many times when I was day dreaming, with the dream being so vivid that I could see Benzes and BMW’s, a Porsche 911, a 800 sq foot apartment in Wan Chai, and Filipinas falling in love with me and my pockets instantly. I think even Anita would have loved me in a very special way. I forgot about the private parties on private modern sampans called yachts, and the wine glasses trembling with joy as our high performance speakers were reviving the 80s lyrics. Too bad we can only sail on seven seas (and not eight or more) , the ones writer Ya’qubi wrote about. These were the seven seas everybody had to cross to reach China. There weren’t Google maps back then in the 9^th Century AD, so his text must have been magical. Imagine there were many people who had never seen a sea in their life, so they had to imagine a sea of water, which was rather hard to conceive had you lived in a small village by a small river. Do you remember the first time you saw the sea? Wasn’t it magical? This guy, Ya’qubi, was no Chinese, contrary to what you’d must have assumed after reading his Chinese syllabic name. In fact his real name was Ahmad ibn Abu Ya’qub ibn Ja’far ibn Wahb Ibn Wadih al-Ya’qubi and he was a Muslim geographer living in Armenia. He probably might have witnessed the fall of the Islamic regime, which took place when a rich an influent guy named Ashot, was recognized as “Prince of Princes” and later began king and founded the Bagratuni dynasty.

The dynastic rule under a lion and cross flag was successful. Ashot III, the descendant of Ashot I, moved the capital to Ani, which became known as the City of 1001 churches. I imagine there must have been lots of churches out there, as a few of them amazingly managed to survive till today. These Christians were building beautiful churches more than 1001 years ago; it was an act of revenge and art; it was an act of faith:

“And I will execute great vengeance upon thee with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.”  (Ezekiel 25:17)

It’s so sad that in today’s dynasty ruled North Korea, the only notable structures in Pyongyang (flat land) are the sickle and hammer statue and the 105 storey-tall pyramid-shaped hotel. The building was due to completion in 1989, but the commies in NK ran out of money after the collapse of USSR and their landmark hotel’s ghostly shadow remained there for 16 years, until a capitalist Egyptian company decided to invest in the structure. They probably anticipated that Kim Jong Ill, the gaga dark sunglasses dictator, was about to die soon, and the country would have no future without entrepreneurship, capitalist moguls and tourists. This crazy “equal people” ideology has always been an illusion. Just like believing you’ll become rich one day by betting on black horsies or playing Mark 6.

Anita, will you stop going through those photo albums? There’s plenty of stuff to see outside. Come laa!

Just a minute…

Anita Goes to Happy Valley

-          a gwailo novel–

Good-bye. Aufwiedersehn

Anita? Where are you going, girl?

I already told you… horse race. Wanna come?

I think you chose to go there at the wrong time. Eight o’clock is late o’clock.

No, no, no…We cannot be late.

I’m telling you… Don’t complain afterwards.

Cris, shut up! Okay, we will not be late, you will see, tell me the number.

Lucky number eight…

I had a despairing affinity for this number. Eight. It is as widespread as a flu in this city – from the wealthy locals that welcome you to their vast penthouses on the eight or 28 or 58 floor, to Typhoon signal no.8. Even the Oyster card equivalent, the ba da tong is based on number eight. They say “sei tùng baat daaht” means “rechargeable in all directions”, and since there are 8 directions – voila! the eight stylized symbol of the infinity on each Octopus card makes you go round. Eight is what my friend Graham had in mind. He was swallowing doubt on his way to the filthy tattoo place in Mong Kok. It was a week later he was analyzing his Ba Gua with high precision, as if his eyes were shooting a read beam of laser light so that the hole of the ba gua could transcend the silent perfection. What do you say, Cristiano? I really love my ba gua! I wanted to say that it resembles the Korean flag, but instead I wisely chose to shut up. We were in China, and this was no place for copy cats. Surely the Chinese invented the 4 gua that lie on the Korean flag. It is also a fact that the Chinese invented the fork and at the same time, the chopsticks, this marvel of human evolutionary science. “Yo,… Graham, are u crazy dude, you’re demolishing the window, frame, man…” Let me show you how it’s done. I learned this trick from Mr Wong, the owner of the Gwailo-known Mr Wong’s restaurant in Yau Ma Tei. I took a chopstick, and I tried pushing with my right palm. “Fucking shit!..” As I was sucking the blood from my left middle finger, I tried again. This time it worked just fine. The cap of Harbin ejected elliptically into the sink.

With the chop sticks, with the chop sticks, when we do it, we do it right… With the chop sticks! This was the Chinese fun. The kid who performed the cover of that catchy song called “Like a G6” was ten times more intelligent and inspiring than the writer of the original piece of Lan Kuai Fong.

Eight is money. But not too many people are really interested in numerology. They’d rather know what Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga have done in the past week. Welcome to the Bieber mania, the kitch society with no real values. Value the 1000HKD bill and you’re smart. If you don’t value money, then you’re living in the wrong city, my friend. You look around and you cannot even see the 9 peaks that made Kowloon so pittoresque – the giants are gone. Erected on their tired backs, lie the 40 storey buildings that are part of what the locals call redevelopment – a cultural revolution of city life.

Opposed to eight is number four, associated with death simply because death and four are pronounced slightly the same in Cantonese. Only the tones vary, but which grail can get those tones right? I ultimately prefer not to pronounce any Cantonese word. But I sometimes like to make people laugh. What you have to do is easy – just pronounce these weird words as you hear them, and the locals will laugh their asses off at you straight away.

Enough about laughter. Anita?… Can I use your computer?

Why?

I want to listen to songs on YouTube.

There came that German pitch. Nein Nein Nein…

Damn…Please, I won’t do anything stupid like stealing your passwords…Please?

But no… she close the lid so firmly. No wonder she is using this black rugged Facebook war machine.

Cred ca e o premiera in brandingul afacerilor in Romania. In politica s-a folosit atat in cazul casei regale, ceea ce e de inteles, dar si pentru a pune partidul lui Gabriel Oprea la adapostul crestinismului si a acvilei unitatii nationale. Intre timp, acvila cu cruce in cioc s-a transformat intr-o acvila CFR-ista. Parerea mea e ca ambele idei sunt proaste, iar daca intentia lor a fost sa faca ceva in genul siglei PRM, le trebuia mai multa inteligenta si imaginatie.

Revenind la Tiriac – compania, nu e vorba de un logo obisnuit care a reunit 4 simboluri, ci o stema in toata regula. Care sa fie oare motivul? Imperiul lui Tiriac nu se limiteaza numai la importul de masini. Pe cale de consecinta, nu poti crea o imagine de brand care sa-ti reprezinte cu succes numele, cata vreme ai afaceri in mai multe domenii. O cale fireasca ar fi sa ai mai multe branduri sub aceeasi umbrela.

Dincolo de cele 4 simboluri (leu, albina, stea si turn) si de cele trei culori (de care nimeni n-a amintit in presa mare, duuuh!), observam si crucea, caci nu-i asa, cu voia Domnului facem profit si dainuim peste generatii. Cat despre generatii, nu se stie cat timp va fi pastrat acest logo. Intr-o zi un Tiriac il va privi de jos si va spune: “E depasit!”

S’au introdus cursele de noapte.

Vinderea pe nimic a aurului si minereului ramas in RO a reintrat in linie dreapta. Cum pretul aurului a atins un nivel record, de 1600 dolari/ uncie, baietii de RMGC si-au trimis PR_istii de serviciu la TV. Intre timp, ministrul ungur al culturii romane, Kelemen Hunor, a semnat pe sest niste hartii importante, iar Borbely, cel care a refuzat sa dea avize de mediu, a fost inhatat de ANI. Maine se anunta proteste, dar societatea romaneasca e apatica, si n-o sa iasa cine stie ce. Nu ma astept sa fie vreun reportaj/ vreo stire pe la televiziunile de stiri (cumparate demult si ele). Cel mult o sa fie buzz in presa scrisa pe net.

In lupta cu fortele raului, Funeratorul e pregatit. Inarmat pana’n dinti cu aparatura anti frauda, are o misiune imposibila: sa duca Romania pe calea cea dreapta. Va reusi oare? Nu ratati noile aventuri cu Funerathorul.

in lupta cu fortele raului

Saracul Marian s’a poticnit iar in limba romana, si atat in direct, cat si in reluare a zis’o p’asta: “psd buc. nu poate fi condus de un pampalau. Daca nu te pricepi, te ejaculeaza”. Noroc cu maestrul Cristoiu care l’a corectat cu zambetul pe buze ( “ejecteaza”), in vreme ce adolescentul Turcescu se prapadea de ras pe sub masa.

Marian vanghelie in almanahe